Sunday, November 14, 2010

Terror in Metropolis

One sunny day in Metropolis everybody was just getting up,
nobody knew how exciting this Friday morning would be.
News rreporters were at the news station setting up about to tell Metropolis citizens how sunny and warm the day would be when suddenly everyone heard this loud BOOM!!!
There was a lot of commotion as a bandit came smashing through the glass
his face ripped and bleeding. He took out his pistol and ran through the news station shooting people, then he jumped out the window commiting suicide.
Years later nobody talked about the bandit anymore and were'nt excpecting his next return.
To be continued...
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17 comments:

  1. Amanda CooneyNovember 15, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    cool introduction hallie!!!!

    nice detail
    please write more:p

    ReplyDelete
  2. elNovember 15, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    this is so far a scary story

    ReplyDelete
  3. youngwritersvaultuser3November 15, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    Scary intro! Whats next?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LaurenNovember 15, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    I like how you kept us waiting for more.
    I can't wait for the next chapter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. nisha pieshNovember 15, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    iccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, very imaginative

    ReplyDelete
  6. EstelNovember 15, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    o_o So scary. jklsdfhulasdgfjksadghjkfhsd what gonna happen next????

    ReplyDelete
  7. PaigeNovember 15, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    This is a really good story so far, its very suspenseful! Good grammar

    ReplyDelete
  8. hallieNovember 15, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    i love ur story butch!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 15, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. youngwritersvaultuser3November 15, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    Hey Hallie,
    Are you just trying to gross me out?
    From,
    Aaron

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 15, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hyragon{Nurlan} :PNovember 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    who was that guy who had his face ripped

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousNovember 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hyragon{Nurlan} :PNovember 15, 2010 at 2:09 PM

    it was pretty cool though

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousNovember 15, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    Good job, that was very suspensful!!!

    By: Amanda Colwell

    ReplyDelete
  16. hallieNovember 15, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    thanks everybody for the comments!

    ReplyDelete
  17. hallieNovember 15, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    greeat story butch

    ReplyDelete

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