I am from...
I am from the tropical and cultural land in Southeastern Asia.
I am from the convenient grocery shop a block away from home.
I am from the delightful and some cultural foods that my parents make.
I am from my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that remind and link me to Malaysia.
I am from my parents and sister that take care of me.
I am from the saying "how's school today", which is what my dad says after i come back from school that i reply "good".
I am from the 4-day trip to Manning park that helped me learn how to ski and build snow shelters.
I am from the family of Lee
wow very very good
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thnks nicole
ReplyDeleteNice work Wen Shen! I know first hand that you are very lucky to have such good cooks in your family!
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to look back at this piece, and to do further revisions, I would suggest that you think about two things. First, "Show Don't Tell". How can you present some of these ideas in such a way as to highlight their essence. For example, you say that you are, "...from the delightful, and some cultural foods..." that your parents make. Well... right away I want to know what foods your are talking about! What do they look like? Smell like? Taste like? How do they feel in your mouth? What emotions do you connect to these foods, to the family get-togethers at which they are eaten? These details help your readers to better understand the importance of the particulars you've included in your poem.
Secondly, think about the rule of "Thoughts and Feelings", and remember that you want to create more here than just a list (although you've already done more than that!). By including your emotions and reflections in the poem, you are more likely to gain the interest and attention of your reader.
Keep up the great work!
Nice job Wenshen and my Mom or dad always asks me also "how was school"
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